Lost
by HalfwayInHell
Summary: Everyone needs a reason to live. But Naruto being alone hasn't had the chance to find his. His mask full of secrets is sealed on tightly. But can Hatake Kakashi break it? Full sum inside! UP FOR ADOPTION!
1. Lost Chapter 1 New Begginings

Lost

Everyone needs a reason to live. But Naruto being alone hasn't had the chance to find his. His mask full of secrets is sealed on tightly... But can Hatake Kakashi break it? Naruto suffers from paranoia, schizophrenia and an eating disorder. Non-canon  
Warnings; yaoi, cutting, self-harm, eating disorder, cussing, OCC, angst...

DISCLAIMER (Will only add this on the first chapter, but will count for every chapter…); As much as I would love to own Naruto-kun I sadly do not… he belongs to Kishimoto-sama…

AN; Hiya, I'm new to writing and stuff, in fact this is actually the first story I've ever written. So please be nice when reviewing… Also I have wanting to write a KakaNaru story for a while, so decided I would. Since I'm 14, and I'm not comfortable writing lemons and limes this story won't have any. This will also be a one-shot type thing, where if I get positive reviews then I'll carry on and add another chapter etc. I will also promise that EVERY chapter I upload will be more than 1,000 words. But... If anyone is willing to help out or give ideas for the story pm me please?. Also Kyuubi has a big influence over Naruto in my story and he decides not to heal Naruto since Kyuubi will only go back to hell where he can be re-born etc.…

Sorry for spelling and grammar mistakes…

"Normal speech"

'**Kyuubi talking'**

'_Thoughts'_

Jutsu's

_Naruto's apartment- October 2nd_

'**Pathetic monster you always fuck everything up!****'**a rough voice screamed in Naruto's head.

His hands reached up and pulled at his dull bristly blond hair, tiny chunks fell out onto the dirty moulded ground.  
A small whimper escaped through his dry cracked lips. He shakily forced himself up from his sitting position on the floor.

He glanced around his apartment, taking in everything. Making sure there were no villagers hiding in the shadows, waiting for their moment to strike, causing him more pain.  
The old floral designed wallpaper was faded and crumbling, peeling at the sides, as if it were clawing its way up the wall. Red liquid that was now dry; and also suspiciously looked like blood was used to spell out words like 'Demon', 'Monster' and 'Go die!'  
The carpet, if you could even call it that, was a repulsive brown colour and was littered with dry blood stains and faded tears, the smell of was horrific.  
The windows were covered by moth-eaten dark grey curtains that were acquainted with mould surfacing at the bottom.

The blonde was wearing a dark blue pair of khaki ninja trousers and a simple black hoodie that seemed to hang lifelessly off his frail body. He had creamy white bandages wrapped around his arms, spotted with blood. If you looked at him you could easily tell he was extremely underweight, to a point where it was dangerous for one's health. Dark rings weighed under lifeless blue eyes; eyes that belonged to a war hardened warrior, someone who has seen the worst of life, not a 14 year old child.  
He stumbled his way across the room, narrowly avoiding the wrecked sofa placed in the middle. He had a slight limp on his right leg, not that anyone knew, if they did he could bet they wouldn't care.  
He made his way to the tiny bathroom and stripped off his clothes. He gingerly stepping into the bath and turned on the shower, he was met with ice cold water, so cold it felt as if it was burning his skin, but he was used to it, he didn't even flinch.  
His back was full of scars, bruises and freshly made cuts, from the beatings he received daily from the villagers.  
His arms were also full of scars; they trailed as far as you could see, some deep, some only faint scratches, some more recent than others.

A shaky hand turned off the shower. He stepped out and dried himself with an overused old towel. He dressed himself and reached over and opened the cabinet, he searched for it, discovering his razor he slowly and painfully slid down towards the floor, his back resting against the dirty bath.  
A shrieking sound ripped through Naruto's ears, his face scrunched up with pain and nearly fell out of his grasp.  
"Gah! Shut up!" he rasped in an underused voice  
His grip on the razor tightened. He hurriedly yanked up his hoodie sleeve. This was the only thing that shut up the voices and let him control the pain he receives. Slowly he dragged the cold blade across his skin. Savouring the pain it gave, it left a deep long gash. He watched silently with cold eyes as the blood poured out and began too pool on the dirty titled floor. His eyes began to feel heavy; the darkness began to creep in. He embraced it with open arms. His body slumped unconscious, the razor in his hand and the blood still pooling.

_Hokages office a few minutes earlier-__  
_"Hello Kakashi-san, I bet your wondering why I've summoned you here? Ne?" spoke the Hokage in a voice that demanded respect.

"Maa, I was actually" Kakashi Hatake replied.  
The man had silver hair that seemed to defy gravity and poked up in many directions. He wore a dark blue mask that came up to just under his eyes. One of which was covered by his Konoha headband.  
_'Actually I was about to read my new Icha-Icha paradise book…'_ He corrected in his head.  
"I heard about your recent student's death. And I know just the person to be the replacement on the team. I know he trains often on his own, and I believe he has a lot of knowledge on the ninja world, but I feel that he's going to be a handful"  
"Hmm, I think I can handle it" Kakashi replied coolly.  
"Good! I'll take you to his place now" Spoke the Hokage.

_Back at Naruto's apartment- about 10 minutes after he fell unconscious.__  
__  
_Naruto began to stir; he could sense 2 strong chakra signatures coming closer to his apartment. He could recognise one. The Hokages as he had been visiting the boy since he could remember. As far as he could tell… the Hokage was a nice man. The only man he could ever trust.

He hurried and quickly tidied himself up, then grabbed a limp cloth and cleaned the floor of blood up on the floor and hid the razor hastily and with a lot of strength he lifted himself off the ground and shuffled into the living room. Just as the Hokage and a man he didn't recognise stepped in.

Naruto instantly didn't trust this other man. So he stumbled backwards all the way up to the wall… he pulled up his hood letting his hair dance in front of his wide eyes. And yanked down the sleeve he didn't realise was still rolled up; his heart was pounding in his ears.  
_'Is he going to hurt me? What is he doing here? Did Jiji bring him here to finish me off? No. Jiji wouldn't do that to me.'_ Naruto's train of thoughts stopped as the man spoke.  
"This is the boy you wish to join team 7?" He asked questionably  
"Yes Kakashi. He really needs someone to call family" Replied the Hokage.

Naruto was scared, what could this possibly mean? Obviously he had researched up on Konoha from time to time and knew that the genin after graduating and passing the genin test were put into teams of three, usually 2 boys and 1 kunoichi. He was panicking. Both men could see this and were scared he would begin to hyperventilate. The Hokage quickly intervened.  
"Naruto. This is Hatake Kakashi. One of his team members died recently and they are looking for a new member. I understand you have been training on your own for quite some time, have you not?"  
"Y-y-yes Hokage-sama. I have.'" He replied, stumbling over his own words.  
The quietness of the boy shocked Kakashi, as he had to strain his ears just to hear him.  
"That's good. Now, would you like to join Team 7?" The Hokage asked kindly.

Naruto snapped up his head, and for the first time Kakashi got a clear view of the boy's face, his eyes were dull and lifeless and under them were deep rings of darker skin that showed he had obviously not slept in a few days, maybe longer. His hair covered just over the top of his eyelashes and one could tell he cut it by himself, probably using a kunai or other weapon.  
Kakashi stepped closer to the boy. He flinched and tried to press himself further into the wall.  
"Shh, it's okay Naruto. Kakashi is a friend of mine, he will not hurt you." Said the Hokage in a motherly voice one would not expect from him.  
"H-hai Hokage-sama." He said shakily, not believing the man.

Kakashi took his chance and stepped forward, careful not to move too fast, he didn't want to frighten the boy, he was about a foot away from Naruto, the boy's breathing hitched and his eyes became wider than before, more wild, shivers racked through his body, and shrieks ran through his brain, he once again clutched onto his hair and began to rip out small chunks.  
**'Brat! Don't let them control us! Do something!' **Kyuubi roared and smashed again his bars.

Naruto was in a lot of pain. A stinging between his eyes, deep inside his brain. He looked up briefly, he could see the Hokage and Kakashi's mouths moving, but could hear no sounds over the screams and Kyuubi's shouting. Little black dots, danced wildly across his vision. Kyuubi began to smash his full weight into the bars of his cage. Stretching the small half ripped piece of paper that held him locked inside his container.

It all became too much for Naruto. He was overwhelmed. His brain came to a hault and his eyelids fluttered delicately shut, covering up his dull eyes. His broken and bruised body slumped and his head hit the floor with a slight thud.

AN/ So… the first chapter was 1'457 words long (not including authors notes etc.) Hope it was slightly enjoyable. I've began the first part of chapter 2. If I get some positive reviews I'll update faster. Also a big massive shout out of love to my AMAZING beta Charlotte. She made this so much more amazing, by adding a little more description and changing my rubbish layout. So yeah… thanks for reading and I hope it was okay C:


	2. Lost Chapter 2 Meeting The Team

Lost chapter 2-

Summary; Everyone needs a reason to live. But Naruto being alone hasn't had the chance to find his. His mask full of secrets is sealed on tightly... But can Hatake Kakashi break it? Naruto suffers from paranoia, schizophrenia and an eating disorder. Non-canon  
Warnings; yaoi, cutting, self-harm, eating disorder, cussing, OCC, angst...

AN: Hey again, Second chapter… Hope this is okay C: Some reviews would be nice, and it makes me want to update more C; Kakashi is also 25 in this fic and Naruto is 12 soon to be 13. That's just to stop there being a really really big age gap….

Also a question for you guys… well a poll actually;

Who should Danzo be killed by?

-Itachi (somehow he would come back to Konoha; I may then pair him with someone…)

-A random ANBU member

-Naruto

-Kakashi

-The Hokage

'**Kyuubi talking'**

'_Thoughts'_

Jutsu's

Konohagakure hospital- Next morning

Naruto began to stir, his eyes were heavy and slightly watering, but not for long, the scent of cleaning agents, bleach and the beeping of machines filled his senses.  
He jumped up swiftly, and stumbled to the side, the hospital sheets clung to his weak legs, resulting in him falling flat on his face, he raised his head ever so slightly, still lying on the cold solid tiles beneath him for a second and took in his surroundings, the walls were a stark white and the floor was polished to perfection, his heightened senses could smell that two men were in the room with him, he recognised them both from his apartment yesterday. His heart rate quickened. And his breathing became faster.

He panicked. _'Why am I here? What are they going to do to me?'_ Tears began to well up in his eyes.

'**Gaki! What the fuck do you think ****you're doing! Get up brat! GET UP!'** Kyuubi's voice rung out violently within his head, worsening his already bad headache.

Struggling to get himself together, he pushed his frail body up harshly from the floor and looked with wide eyes at the other men in the room. Kyuubi's screams quietened a little so he could hear the Hokage.

'Naruto-kun. It's okay, you passed out yesterday at your apartment, Kakashi and myself brought you to Konoha's hospital to rest and make sure your arm heals correctly' The Hokage's motherly tone soothed the lost boy.

'T-thanks' He mumbled, barely heard by the two shinobi.

'So, Naruto-kun. How are you feeling?'

'I-I'm fine' Naruto replied, still extremely wary of Kakashi, not even trusting him a bit.

'So you'll be able to meet your new team today then?' The Hokage questioned, the hope in his voice did not go un-noticed by Kakashi.

'I-I guess' His voice was shaky,

One could tell he was petrified of the idea of meeting and socialising with other human beings. But you couldn't blame the boy, the only person that had ever talked to him like he was a human was the Hokage. And because the Hokage is a very busy man, with running the village and all… he didn't have very much time to visit and check up on Naruto. Not that Naruto minded, he preferred to be on his own. That's what he deserved. At least he thought he deserved.

Kakashi stepped forward slowly and cautiously as to not scare the boy like before. When all he got as a reaction was Naruto's eyes widening slightly he took this as a chance to speak to him.

'Naruto-kun, since you will be on my team. And I will be your sensei, it's my job to protect you and make sure you have all the equipment needed to be an efficient shinobi.' He drawled. Strangely he felt protective over this broken boy in front of him.

'H-hai Hatake-sama'

'Maa. Enough with the formality, I do have a name you know' Kakashi chuckled.

'H-h-hai Kakashi-sama' He corrected himself.

Kakashi shook his head and shuffled further towards Naruto. He instantly stiffened and covered his head to protect himself from a blow he knew would come. He waited. Nothing. Peeking open his dull blue eyes, he saw Kakashi looking incredulously at him. Shocked he slowly lowered his arms, and relaxed slightly. But his muscles were tense still, ready to protect himself from any danger that presented itself.

'Come on. Let's go and buy you some new clothes and stock up on weapons' Kakashi said kindly.

'_No. no. no. no. no! I can't. The villagers. They are going kill me seeing me in the village again__! But Kakashi-sama did say he would protect me…' _Naruto's thoughts stopped when he heard the Kyuubi's terrifying roar of laughter fill his mind.

'**Brat! You actually think he cares about a pathetic worthless demon! Ha! He was only saying that because the Ho****kage was in the room!' **Kyuubi's laughter continued to echo around his head, sparking the beginning of another painful headache.

Kyuubi carried on his ruthless torture to the small boy **'I can't believe that! Who would ever care about a fat, ugly beast like ****you!**

Clutching his head in pain, Naruto dropped to the floor landing on his knees. Kakashi rushed forward and pushed the writhing boy to the floor and harshly pulled up his hoodie that was old and had a few holes dotted around it to see the seal, exposing a very underweight and scarred stomach. The seal began to glow a bright red. A gasp escaped his lips.

'H-Hokage-sama… the seal! Half of it is missing!' Kakashi panicked.

'I know Kakashi. And the worst part is that I can't even do anything to help him. I'm not a sealing master like Minato-kun was. And it seems that the seal Jiraiya placed over it to supress the Kyuubi when he was 4, has broken a while ago. I can't imagine the pain he has been enduring all these years' The Hokage said sadly, walking to the boy's side and placing his hand over his forehead.

'Supress' He mumbled. And as soon as the words escaped his lips, Naruto visually relaxed and looked up with tear filled eyes.

'H-h-Hokage-sama… The k-Kyuubi? He's not talking...' Naruto stuttered with panic. He was so used to the demon raging and insulting him in his mind that as soon as it all stopped he thought something had gone wrong, and the beast had been released.

'It's okay Naruto; he won't be bothering you for a while. I'm not sure how long the suppression will work. But I will need Jiraiya-san to re-seal the Kyuubi again' The Hokage replied soothingly.

'T-thank you Hokage-sama'

'Maa, sorry to interrupt this loving moment. But Naruto-kun and I need to get him his new shinobi equipment' Kakashi stated.

'Very well then Kakashi. Look after Naruto-kun for me. I have paperwork to do' the Hokage sighed. He really did hate paperwork. It was the enemy of all Hokage's. He didn't know how his secretary coped with it daily.

_Outside the Hokage tower with Naruto and Kakashi-_

Kakashi looked down at the boy next to him. His eyes were snapping around in every direction and his body was visibly shaking. The fear seemed to radiate off of him. Kakashi had no idea why Hokage-sama suggested for him to be a shinobi. How is he ever going to fight whilst shaking like a leaf and being scared of every little sound?

He put his hand on Naruto's shoulder and tried to ignore the boys flinch. _'He must really not be used to human contact then'_ Kakashi thought. He felt sorry for the boy, he didn't have parents or anyone to love or take care of him. The only human contact he had since around 5 was the Hokage visiting monthly. But even those visits seemed to be less often now. Kakashi couldn't bare to think that the only person the boy had to talk to was a blood thirsty demon, and he guessed that Kyuubi only mentally tortured the boy.

Kakashi wormed his way silently through the village, doing his best to ignore the dirty looks being thrown at the boy. He looked down at Naruto and saw the terror and utter fright that was plastered onto his angelic face. _'Wait what. He's a 12 year old boy for Kami's sake! He shouldn't be thinking like that when I'm 13 years older than him!'_

'Hey, Naruto-kun can I ask you something?' Kakashi spoke quietly.

'E-eh Sure Kakashi-sama' Naruto replied, slightly worried what this question would be.

'Your arm… why do you do that?' He said solemnly. Thinking back to Naruto's apartment when he glimpsed the boys sliced up arm. And then at the hospital when the Hokage was treating his wounds.

Naruto contemplated his answer for a second, but his train of thoughts was instantly broken by accidentally walking into a plump, greasy looking villager.

'Oi Demon spawn! What where you are walking! Or next time I'll skin you alive!' The man growled in a high pitched voice.

'I-I'm sorry villager-sama. I-I didn't mean it' Naruto rambled, panicking he was going to get beaten again.

'You should be Kyuubi!' the man roared and carried on 'It's _was_ your fault! Everything is your fault!'

Kakashi decided to step in and shove the rude man to the ground. His eyes were as colder than ice.

'Get away!' He spoke. Leaking out a tiny amount of KI. The man instantly hauled his overweight body up and scrambled away.

'T-t-thank you Kakashi-sama. But you shouldn't have done that. H-he didn't do anything' Naruto stuttered out.

'Didn't do anything! He was going to hurt you Naruto-kun! A small shove was the least he deserved!'

'H-hai Kakashi-sama' Naruto was beginning to like this Kakashi person. He stood up for him. He was the first person to ever do that. He then remembered Kyuubi's words _'You're worthless! No-one would ever want you! He was only saying that because the Hokage was there!'_ his mood was instantly dampened by the memory. He hung his head and smoothed his hood down so his eyes weren't visible. A small tear slipped silently down his face and pattered onto the sandy ground. Kakashi hadn't noticed.

_After shopping with Kakashi. In training ground 13-_

Naruto was now dressed in new shinobi gear, all brought by Kakashi. He was wearing a fishnet shirt under a loose fitting black jacket. With black shinobi sandals and baggy full length trousers. Up his arms and over the bottom of his trousers were medical tape to hope the clothing in place whilst he was on missions and training.

Now all he needed was for the other members of team 7 to arrive. He was terrified. He knew that they would hate him from the moment they laid their eyes on his ugly face. He really hated his face. It was chubby and both cheeks were covered with whisker shaped possession marks he gained from the Kyuubi being sealed into him. He also had disgusting dull blonde hair that hung lifelessly around his sad blue eyes. He really was an eyesore.

2 foreign chakra signatures appeared near Kakashi and himself. His body froze. And he braced himself for the rejection he was sure would come. It was times like this he wanted his hood to cover his face from them seeing him. But Kakashi insisted on the hoodless jacket because a hood could be a danger when battling an opponent.

'Kakashi-sensei! Who is that?' the pink haired girl exclaimed in a high pitched girly voice.

'That would be your new team-mate' He replied coolly.

'Hmph looks weak' The onyx eyed one stated.

'Right team! Let's introduce ourselves, I'll start' He inhaled and began 'My name is Hatake Kakashi, I'm 25 years old. I like reading, training and helping my students to be the best genin they can. I dislike people who complain to me and being disturbed from my reading. My dreams for the future are to be the best sensei I can and to finish all of Jiraiya-sama's books. Right. Now you Sakura'

'My name's Haruno Sakura. I enjoy training with Sasuke-kun, gardening and helping others. I dislike Ino-pig. And my dream for the future is to be the best kunoichi!' She exclaimed happily. Naruto already didn't like this loud girl. She seemed way too over-the-top and wasn't taking anything seriously.

'Hmm. My name is Uchiha Sasuke. I like nothing. I dislike everything and my ambition is to kill my damned brother' Naruto could feel the darkness and pride practically radiating from the boy.

'Go on then Naruto. Introduce yourself' Kakashi prompted.

'H-hai Kakashi-sama' He replied swiftly 'M-my name is Uzumaki Naruto. I-I like Hokage-sama. I dislike Kyuubi-sama and the v-village. I have n-no dreams' He released a breath he hadn't realised he was holding. That was easier than he thought it was going to be.

Sasuke looked at the boy and studied his face. He saw how broken and lost the boy's eyes were. And immediately knew the boy has had a tough life, a lot tougher than his own. Not that he would admit that to anyone.

'So you're the demon-gaki the villagers go on about…' Sasuke spoke.

'H-hai Uchiha-sama' Naruto hung his head. Another person who thought him to be a demon. He wished someone. Anyone. Would understand him and treat him as a human.

'_Uchiha-sama? Why would he put himself lower than me? Ha! He knows about the legendary Uchiha clan! We are superior to them all' _ Sasuke thought to himself smugly, his face shone with pride.

AN; YAY! Another chapter! This one's over 2000 words so I am happy. I'm not sure what's going to happen in the next chapter, so Ideas would be nice. Thanks for actually reading the authors notes (if you do have a cookie)

So yeah…. Don't forget to vote!

Who should Danzo be killed by?

-Itachi (somehow he would come back to Konoha; I may then pair him with someone…)

-A random ANBU member

-Naruto

-Kakashi

-The Hokage


	3. Adopted by lonewolfgirl1992

Sorry guys… I know a lot of you liked this story but to be honest I really have no time at all to finish it, like seriously I have a ton of exams coming up and I have to draw to earn money…

Taking all of this into account I think it would be best for me to put the fic up for adoption, this way someone (A better author than me) will make the story better and hopefully finish it.

If you're interested in adopting this fic please PM me and once someone does I'll upload a chapter will who is adopting it .

Thankyou

~HalfwayInHell


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